How do you talk to your child about cannabis?

Cannabis can be a source of generational conflict, concern, reconciliation, or heated arguments between teenagers and their parents. There is no magic formula for successfully Talking to Your Child About Cannabis, but here are a few tips on how to talk to a teenager about drugs.

This article was written in collaboration with a psychologist from Paris’s 15th arrondissement who did not wish to have her name associated with our publication. We would still like to thank her for her time 🙂

How can I tell if my child is smoking marijuana?

Most teenagers are offered their first joint between the 4th^ème and 2^nde. To detect substance use: conversation, observation, or trickery.

The Cash Declaration

«_ Mom, I smoked a joint and I thought it was awf…»

Our psychologist recommends that, in this situation, we avoid getting angry with the teenager. He might become defensive and never talk about his drug use again. A better approach is to sit down with him and ask him a few more questions about his drug use (see the paragraph below).

The pouch or hair clip found by chance

A tragic event in the life of a young smoker: the parents’ unexpected discovery of a joint in his jeans pocket. In this case, the discussion outlined in Step 2 must take place immediately—or at least very soon.

The teenager comes home later

-What time do you get off tonight?
-4 p.m., but don't come pick me up—we're going out after class.

Even if the question «Where?» doesn’t immediately come to mind, it’s an important one. The teen’s life outside the home is completely normal, so this shouldn’t change anything. On the other hand, if the teen comes home around 7 p.m. looking completely wiped out, that raises some red flags. When outings of this kind become more frequent, there’s likely some use of legal (cigarettes or alcohol) or illegal drugs involved. But it could also be harmless—they might just enjoy the great outdoors.

If the smell doesn’t give them away, their relaxed manner of speaking, their smile, and their unusual ease should put you on the right track. At that point, you need to listen to them and figure out what has changed. Humor and a sense of trust can encourage the teen to open up about the subject.

How to Assess Your Cannabis Use

Here, there will be different types of parents: those who know nothing at all about the product and its effects, those who are aware of the effects and tolerate its use, and those who are completely opposed to the idea.

I'm not at all familiar with the product or what it entails

First of all, we invite you to learn more about the product—for example, by reading our article 🙂 For those who are too lazy, here’s a quick summary: the Cannabis is illegal in France but is the the most commonly used illegal drug among its citizens.

He may have some adverse effects on the brain if consumed in large quantities during adolescence. Health experts recommend not using cannabis until age 25, when the brain has finished developing.

In the countries where cannabis is legal, ...it is very often permitted at the same age as alcohol, between 18 and 21, depending on the law. The average black-market price for «weed» is €10 per gram and €5 per gram for «shit» (also known as hashish, hash, resin, etc.). A teenager’s cannabis use is considered high if they spend more than €30 per month on it.

I am familiar with the product, and I can decide whether or not to consume it

This approach is a good idea if the teenager is closer to being a young adult than a prepubescent child. However, before the age of 16, excessive cannabis use can affect brain development. It is therefore not advisable to allow its use. Parents need to use their knowledge to advise, warn, and discipline their child if he or she strays from the right path.

I absolutely do not tolerate cannabis use

Drug Information Service urges parents not to project their personal fears and anxieties onto their children. The “no” no longer applies once they’re outside the home. If the teenager enjoyed the effects of this drug, they’ll use it again. Just because a teenager is high doesn’t mean they don’t understand. Talk to them calmly without stigmatizing or being violent toward them. In this situation, establishing clear boundaries and ensuring they are respected will be very important (see below).

I can't figure out if my teenager is smoking

A few lighthearted but well-timed questions will help you figure out product knowledge. It's up to you to keep the constructive discussion going.

Some Questions Parents Might Ask About Cannabis

These questions are part of the conversation you should have with your teenager. They help you gauge your teen’s level of understanding and their substance use. Starting this conversation doesn’t mean giving them permission to use substances. But it’s a first step toward establishing clear boundaries about what they can and cannot do.

You know What Is Cannabis? ? Have you ever taken any? What did you think of the special effects? ? How did you find out about this? Who do you smoke with? Do your friends smoke a lot? Have you ever bought any? How much per month? Who supplies you? Do you smoke often? Do you prefer hash or weed ? Are you aware of the drug trade you're supporting? Do you use tobacco in your joints? Do you smoke alone?

We strongly emphasize the last point. A drug loses its recreational appeal and is closer to addiction when consumed on its own.

Implementing a Regulatory Framework for Cannabis at Home

Our guest psychologist urges parents not to use drugs with their children, but rather to establish strict guidelines tailored to their family’s situation. Here are a few of her recommendations, in her own words:

• No smoking in the bedroom or anywhere in the house: «If parents put up with it, there’s no point in fighting anymore.»
• Ban on going outside to smoke alone: «A teenager who goes out for 10 minutes or rushes out to walk the dog is suspicious.»
• make arrangements to monitor his allowance—or even take it away if he’s misusing it: «If he still manages to get his hands on some, it’ll mean he worked for it.»
• No smoking during class: «But, well, there’s not much we can do about that.»
• Check their eyes daily, but don't press the issue if they look away

Balance sheet

Without pressuring them, talking to your teenager about cannabis can, among other things, defuse any conflict surrounding the topic. They might be lucky enough to avoid it in middle school, but there’s little chance they’ll escape being offered some in high school. Setting clear boundaries—and fostering the trust that goes along with them—is essential until they reach the age of majority. If a teenager is spending more than €50 a month on cannabis, it’s up to you to take action.

The pitfalls to avoid are the same as those in everyday parenting. Excessive monitoring and a lack of trust can undermine your relationship with your teen. The solutions often suggested are to open a dialogue and try to understand your teen’s substance use. Understanding does not mean excusing, and it can help guide your teen toward safer paths.

The government provides prevention teams through the Young Substance Users’ Clinics. Unfortunately, they are hard to reach by phone, and the chat line is constantly busy. Municipal youth teams or the French cannabis organizations can then take over.